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This morning I am enjoying a cup of hot tea…and I mean really enjoying it!  It’s Earl Gray, hot - just like Captain Picard drinks on Star Trek the Next Generation.  Only into the second day of my first week on the liquid diet, I am beginning to realize how addicted to eating I really am.  This has been tough so far…really, really tough.  However, when you remove 99% of the options from your diet, a thing as simple as a cup of hot tea becomes special.  As I drink it, I savor the flavor and armoa.  The experience of it.  The house is cool this morning and the tea is warming and comforting.

Last night I had numerous nightmares about eating.  I kept dreaming that I was cheating on my diet.  In my dreams I was on this liquid only diet.  They all seemed to have a theme of “accidentally”, or subconsciously, eating something and then realizing what I had done and going into a panic becuase I had cheated on my diet and ruined all of my hard work.  For example, in one dream, I entered the kitchen to get a glass of water.  As I stood there drinking, I looked down to see a plate of Ritz Crackers.  Without even thinking, I reach down and grab a few of them and start munching away.  A few crackers later, I remember that I am on my pre-surgery liquid only diet and start to panic.  What have I done!?  So many things start racing through my head…am I going to have to reschedule my surgery?  If I do have to reschedule, are they going to charge me some outrageous fee?  Surely they will!  Oh my goodness, Delia will be so frustrated and disappointed with me.  Gasp!  What about work?  It’s taken me weeks to coordinate my work on the two high profile projects I’m on so that I can take off two weeks without being bothered by work.  One project actually scheduled a major deadline around my PTO (personal time off…that’s what they call vacation at the company I am employed by…I guess they couldn’t come up with an acronym for ‘vacation’).  I awaken; I have to go pee.  I still feel tremendous anxiety from the nightmare.  Did I eat something last night?  I sigh with relief.  No, I didn’t…it was just a bad dream.

This went on throughout the night.  I have been drinking so much water that I had to get up several times throughout the night to use the restroom.  Each time I awoke from a similar nightmare.  Needless to say it was a long, restless night.

This morning, however, as I sit here typing away, sipping on my now warm tea (it’s definitely better hot), I feel calm, relaxed.  I did make it through the first 24 hours…and no, I didn’t eat anything.  I don’t feel hungry this morning at all.  I am ready for Day Two!